Rejection toward the mother can cause deep pain within the family nucleus. Hostile attitudes toward one or both parents can trigger rebellion and even self-destructive behaviors in children, as an unconscious form of revenge against those who gave them life.
Today we share the case of F1, a 17-year-old young woman who attempted suicide. Below is a fragment of the interview conducted by researchers from Descartes University in Paris, France, in May 2014:
“Before, I didn’t even speak to my mother, whereas now we can talk quite calmly… about school, or work… those kinds of things. We always talked about my past, and both of us understood what each of us felt. Yes, we talked about it.
I told her what I had been doing in that city, what I was doing, what substances I was consuming… and she told me that she always cried, that she was desperate, always worried, that she had done everything possible for me to come back home again.
Then I realized that I had made her suffer a lot, and that she had done so much for me to help me… but I didn’t realize it. I didn’t want to listen to her, I didn’t even care, because I believed she would never be able to understand me…” (F1)
In this case, feelings of anger and rebellion caused deep pain in the young woman, who ended up in crisis: she left home, moved to another city, consumed drugs, and finally attempted to take her own life.
Does someone really have to be on the brink of death for people to decide to talk?
Is the desire to be right so strong that we prefer to distance ourselves from our mother or a loved one?
Unfortunately, many young people grow distant from their parents due to a lack of effective communication. Therefore, it is vital that, while children live at home, family practices such as the following are encouraged:
Communicate important decisions, such as moving to another city or country. This can help mitigate the feelings of loneliness and desolation that these changes generate both in parents and children.
Speak openly about bad influences, such as friendships that promote the use of alcohol, drugs, and irresponsible sexual behavior. What seems like emancipation often ends up being physical and emotional slavery caused by dependence on substances or toxic environments.
Maintain an open and constant dialogue, be emotionally present, and ready to share our opinions and values. Although our children will not always agree, planting these seeds can make a big difference in the long run.
In F1’s case, both she and her mother managed to restore their relationship after the suicide attempt. It was precisely through honest communication — without yelling or confrontations — that they were able to heal their wounds. F1 overcame her suicidal crisis when she understood that her mother had also suffered: many sleepless nights filled with anxiety and despair, hoping her daughter was okay.
Dialogue with children is essential to prevent relationships from breaking. Often, young people do not understand what is happening in the adults’ lives or the multiple responsibilities that parents — especially single mothers — must face to maintain family stability.
Therefore, mutual support and the sincere expression of resentments not only relieve accumulated tensions but also strengthen the family bond, allowing peace and love to be maintained within the home.
Are you having problems in your family relationships?
You are not alone. International Family Coaching is with you. We support Zero divorces. Zero violence. Zero suicides.
📞 Phone: +1-502-495-8444
📧 Email: info@internationalfamilycoaching.org