When one partner in a marriage seeks professional help to address communication issues, but the other is uninterested, it can create significant challenges.
This situation, common for many couples, was experienced by Laura (1). As her children grew older and left home, Laura realized she and her husband were spending less and less time together. This shift is often associated with Empty Nest Syndrome, a non-clinical term describing the emotional and psychological transition parents face when their children become independent.
The most common symptoms a person might experience include:
- Sadness and Loneliness – A constant feeling of emptiness and quietness in the home, along with missing the child’s presence—especially if they’ve moved far away or to another country.
- Grief or Significant Loss – Parents may feel deep sadness, tearfulness, and a sense that things will never go back to how they were.
But these symptoms aren’t exclusive to Empty Nest Syndrome. They can also appear when one partner loses a close family member—such as a mother, father, or sibling—or even when someone loses their job. In moments of deep emotional pain, the tendency is often to blame the person closest to us—our spouse.
I repeat: when any major life loss occurs, irritability and restlessness toward our closest loved ones can arise. It becomes easy to believe, in our own eyes and by our own criteria, that the problem is our partner—not ourselves. In that kind of home dynamic, many separations or divorces can happen.
And when one partner refuses counseling, the root of the problem only grows worse. As Laura said, “I was seeing a psychiatrist for depression. I wanted to go to couples counseling. I told my husband that if he wouldn’t go, I was going to leave him.” (2)
In her case, the husband refused. Even worse, when she left the home, he decided to take some vacation—just some days away, somewhere else. When he returned at the marriage home, he continued paying the mortgage. Some months later, she filed for divorce. In the eyes of the law and the judge, she had “deserted the marriage.” (20 The court ruled that she had abandoned her husband, her responsibilities, and her home.
The reality is that, as women, when we face problems at home, it often feels like no one can help us. We must break out of the painful cycle and find qualified help—someone who can teach us how to resolve the conflicts and emotional pain in our minds and hearts.
If I have to accept that my husband no longer loves me, then I must seek help to process it, accept it, and learn how to talk to him. I need to develop the ability to speak about our problems—to free myself from the resentment I carry in my heart.
If you’ve been facing years of unresolved issues with your partner, we are here to help you—whether it’s to avoid divorce, or at least have an honest, intelligent conversation about the problems that have never been discussed.
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📞 (502) 495-8444
📧 InternationalFamilyCoaching@gmail.com
(1) & (2) Court of Appeals of Virginia, May 9, 2023. Westlaw http://www.westlaw.com